negative nothing.

When did I suddenly become 35 years old? I mean, in reality, I'm only 19 but it feels like I'm 35. Struggling to make ends meet, wishing I could just go back to the easy days, mourning a childhood I never had. Why do I have to be so grown up? So serious? So responsible? Why did I take everything I had for granted? It seems as if I win one battle and just as I put the sword down, I'm invaded by an even bigger enemy. Just last year, I had the world in my hands. And it has all crumbled and fell apart. Now, I have nothing. Really, I have negative nothing. I can't even feed myself because I am so worried, lying in debt, not just financially, but physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I have faith, but how long can your faith hold out? Shreds of hope are being cut at every day when another blow is thrown.

I'm stuck in a desert sunset. There's beauty in the distance, but I'm so dehydrated. I'm so thirsty. I'll never make it to the sun. Please tell me there's hope for me yet.