waiting for the right time to get a word in.

people..change. too drastically. well it depends on the person. but my closest friends have now become selfish immature idiots. i'm thinking i somehow grew up too fast. i mean, i can't "fit in" and even if i wanted to i couldn't because what people my age talk about is useless banter. gossip. stupid stories forgotten after the next rumor is told. it's all CRAP. people ask me why i don't talk much, well it's because i don't have anything of importance to say! but you can get me talking endlessly. it's not hard. get on a subject that i'm passionate about, and i will not stop talking. i'm shy, i'm confident. a contradiction all in one person. and more than one opposing subject, might i add. i want to move, far away to a place where the dynamic is different. where your social status isn't determined by your appearance or what freaking church you go to, but by the (of worth) words that flow out of your mouth and the things you do. kind actions towards people or smoking weed in the bathroom. first one please, i need all the brain cells i can spare. ;) shoot me. please someone. my life is a never ending hell. one thing explodes in my face one after another. keep em coming, boys. it's tearing me down, just like you schemed them to.

cause I'm some kind of loser, right?

so, I clean my room all day-it was a mess...and still is. well I thought I was gonna hang with my friends, but they all cancelled on me. one of my closets was a complete mess, so I cleared it out and now it's really clean, but the rest of my room isn't. I just don't understand. my parental guardian (haha) makes me work all the time. well duh of course I should work/do chores. but not every flipping second of my break, of the weekend, or my free time. so I'm sitting here on a Friday night cause I'm an absolute loser. no one even cares to call or text unless they want to brag about themselves. I'm sitting in my room on top of my piles of clutter and clothes writing in my blog that no ones even looking at. I can feel the echoes of my words hitting walls with no doors to be opened, soundproof walls to never be heard. yep, I'm the coolest kid in town, don't you think? life sucks then you die. so true. please someone come rescue me from the prison hole before I crack. the pressure is getting to much.

ok, listen up if you can.

life...is hard. pshh..we already knew that. and i need somewhere to vent, and journaling isn't exactly fulfilling my hunger. so, maybe this "blogging" will stop my growling stomach. this is anonymous for those of you creepy stalker people. we all know why you do it-you're life is so boring you go creep people out so you can make it better while coveting their life cause it's so much better than yours. ew, hit the spot didn't i? yes, very sarcastic person. i come off as cocky sometimes, but rest assured, i'm not. now, what's up with my headline? i'm young, a teen. but I look older. (people tell me all the time) so that's the reason why. this is also anonymous for my family, friends, etc. so they don't find out. so I'm not gonna go too deep into detail. about me: I'm very creative. I like to sing, act, dance, write, photograph, graphic design, doodle, etc. I'm an oxymoronic person. I'm messy, I'm clean. I'm happy, I'm depressed. I hate him/her, I love him/her. I'm violent with my words, I'm sugar sweet. I want to run away, I want to stay here. I feel like shooting her(not really), I feel like hugging her. you get the picture. I'm always changing. I have close friends, but not close enough that I can tell them everything or they know my whole story. so, the worldwide web, you are my new best friend, but you still won't know everything! ;) welcome, hope you enjoy these posts.